Five Nights With The Guard
by Ed the Orange Blob
Summary: They've murdered every security guard thus far, and nothing can get in their way. But when the Fazbear crew meets their next target, it is not at all what they expected...This is going to be so stupid...SHIPPING: Mike Schmidt/EVERYONE!
1. Chapter 1: OH NO, HE'S HOT!

"Alright, the new sercurity guard's first day is tonight. That means we need to do one thing: KILL HIM IN COLD BLOOD, BABY!" Freddy rallies up the two robots in front of him, holding a rusty baseball bat. The animatronics, Bonnie and Chica, let out a cheer on stage.  
Freddy continues his speech, "So when the piece of crap shows up, we will-"

"Oh!" Bonnie jumps up, "CAN I DO IT-" Freddy smacks Bonnie with the baseball bat.

"DON'T TALK UNLESS TOLD TO, SON!" Freddy yells.

"B-But I wanna kill him this time!" Bonnie begs, "You got to kill that guy with the phone on his head last time, a-and Mangle bit the one from that old place with hot Chica!"

Chica shoots up, "HOT CHICA?! All that old hen had was panties and flab. I'm soo much better!"

"Psst," Bonnie laughs, "Yeah, sure-"

"Bonnie! Ugly Chica! Focus on the task at hand!" Freddy yells.

"Also, how come he gets to kill the new nightguard, I think his old 'father' did enough of that..." Chica explains. Bonnie gets up in her face.

"HEY! My father was the best springsuit murderer this pizzeria has ever KNOWN! Say, where's your old daddy, Fred?"

Freddy shrugs, "His not my dad you sack of nails. And he's over there hiding in the corner." Freddy points to the far side of the stage, where two bright white dots can be seen in the shadows.

"OoooOooooh" The figure echoes.

"You're not scaring anyone Goldilocks," Freddy turns back to the two, "Alright, we will have a competition: Whoever gets to his office first gets him. Bonnie, you take one hall, and Fatty takes the other. Got it?"

Chica puts her hands on her hips, "You know, not enjoying these comments-" Suddenly, a car noise can be heard outside.

"AH! SHUT YOUR BEAK! HE'S HERE!" Freddy yells. The three get in position on the stage. Meanwhile, from the back doors of the restaurant comes a man in a security outfit.

"Ok, let's get this crap over with..." The guard goes into the office and sits down. The office reaks, with cobwebs and rotting metal across the tiny area; the only thing keeping him from barfing is a fan, blowing it all away. On the table in front of him is a telephone, left with voicemails on it from days before. He turns on the first one. A voice sounds through the speaker of the phone.

"Hello? HELLOooo?! Oh yeah, this is a voicemail," The voice says under it's breath, "Uhh, welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, where our motto is, 'The Pizza here is to die for!'...You know, not the best catchphrase since all those...'shenanigans' from a few years ago- Uhm, anyway, Mike- yeah, Mike, I hope you enjoy your first night at ol' Freddy's! I should also mention that we had an accident and...There is glue on your seat."

"WHAT?!" Mike tries to get up, but is stuck to the chair. "Dang it! WHY?!"

"...So if I were you, I wouldn't sit down- the glue should go away in about six hours...So, here are the rules I need you to follow-" Mike turns the telephone on mute in frustration.

"Man, that guy is annoying" Mike says to himself. The security guard grabs the tablet which shows the hidden cameras throughout the halls of the Pizzeria and flips around. He then turns to the stage webcam, where three animatronics stand motionless. "This is boring..." Mike tells himself. He turns the tablet off and gets on his phone.

Freddy notices the light on the camera in the corner of the dining area has turned off, "Alright, let's see who can get there first! Go, you two, before he turns the camera back on!" Bonnie and Chica nod and jump off the stage and run seperate ways to the office.

Bonnie sneaks his way around the hall as Chica stumbles on pots and pans laying on the kitchen floor. She has trouble getting back up in the pitch black as Bonnie runs towards the office door.

"Finally, my chance to shi-" Bonnie's jaw drops has he looks in the office to see a gorgeous man sitting in a chair. The rabbit stands there in shock, staring at the security guard's dazzling eyes and magical lips. His body too, DELICIOUS. Just then Mike notices that the room is to dark to take a picture on his phone.

"Where is the light switch..." Mike turns to the dark door beside him and, rolling his seat, presses a button that says 'LIGHT'. Instead of getting light, however, Mike is met with Bonnie's surprised face, filled with anticapation.

"AHHHHH!" Mike yells.

"AHHHHH?" Bonnie replies. Mike repeatly punches the door button, closing the door between them. Mike rolls back and panics.

"WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-Ok, it's ok, it's ok-it's not real, your dreaming! Yeah, you're dreaming." Mike opens the door again, where Bonnie is waiting. "...AHHHHH!" He shoves the door down once more.

Bonnie steps back and immediately runs to the dining area, "CHICA? CHICA!" Bonnie yells.

A yellow figure appears from the other hallway, covered in pizza and other food items, "What? Did you kill him already?"

"NO! Chica he's...he's-" Bonnie studders, "-he's HOT!"

"...excuse me?"

"I'M NOT JOKING, GO LOOK FOR YOURSELF!" Bonnie shoves Chica back into the hallway. Chica makes her way through the kitchen and into the side door. She looks through the window.

"Now what is he talking about- OH. MY. GOOOO-" Chica yells staring at Mike, who is surfing through the cameras on the tablet. Mike suddenly hears breathing and slowly goes to press the other light in the room. When he does, Chica's face appears, breathing heavily on the window.

"DEMONS!" Mike yells as he slams the door shut. Chica runs back to the dining area in front of Bonnie.

"WHY IS HE HOT?!" Chica yells.

"I DON'T KNOW, BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA KILL HIM IF HE... LOOKS LIKE THAT?!"

"I'm not sure, but we have to somehow..." Chica ponders.

"...Do we have to kill him?" Bonnie asks. Chica looks at him with confused eyes.

"Of course! Helloooo, we have DEAD CHILDREN in us! We have to kill every security guard until we're 'free' or somethin'." Chica explains.

Bonnie faces the other way, "I-I don't know if I can..." Chica grabs Bonnie and slaps him in the face.

"GET A HOLD ON YOURSELF MAN!" Chica yells, "We can NOT let this get to us!"

"Can you kill him then?" Bonnie asks. Silence falls across the two.

"...Dang it! I can't! But we have to do something..." Chica turns to Bonnie, "...FREDDY!"

"FREDDY!" Bonnie screams as the two run towards the stage.


	2. Chapter 2: Who's Gonna Kill Him?

**Before I get to this next chapter, I just wanted to say thank you! Funny enough, this is my most popular story yet, can you believe that?! Because of this, I want this chapter to be longer and better than the last, just for you guys. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this!**

* * *

After seeing two giant animatronics outside the office doors, Mike Schmidt has closed both doors in panic. With shaking hands, he grabs the phone and dials 911. A female operator answers him, "911, what's your emergency-"

"OFFICER, THE BUNNY A-AND THE DUCK ARE TRYING KILLLL ME- I would run, b-b-but my butts glued down, LITERALLY! Please come help meeee! AHHH!" Mike yells. The operator just falls silent.

"...What's your loca-"

"FREDDY BEAR PIZZA PLACE! JUST HURRY!" Mike screams into the telephone.

"O-ok mister, I will send someone over there in a few minutes. What's your name?" The operator asks. Suddenly, Mike hears beeping coming from the tablet. He looks over to see a 'POWER LEFT' sign on the bottom corner; and it's at 10%.

Mike throws the phone back on to the table and tries to fix the power shortage. The usage falls down one when the phone turns off, but there is still four bars left of usage. "What the heck?! What's losing power-" Mike turns to the doors, "...You gotta be kidding me..." But seeing how that's the only possible thing eating the power, Mike rolls his chair over to the one of the right.

He turns on the light before he does anything and looks out the window to see if that nightmare is gone. His finger slowly rises to meet the door button. Mike takes a deep breath and presses it.

"AHHH!" He shoves the door back down, although there was nothing in the darkness in front of him. Mike turns back to the tablet and sees a usage bar disappear; then quickly reappears. "Are you serious?! Why is CLOSING the doors taking power?" He argues under his breath. He turns back to the door and, although scared for his life, presses the door button and the metal slings upwards.

Silence falls across the ominous hallway. Mike stares into it for a good minute until facing the other door, which he then presses open. He picks up the tablet and looks at the power.

"7%? Why?" Mike sighs, "...Where are those things anyway?" From the other side of the Pizzeria, Bonnie and Chica jump on to the stage and runs over to Freddy, who has been tinkering with his microphone.

"FREDDY!" Both of them yell. Freddy gets up and looks at the two, who are freaking out.

"What the?! Da heck is wrong with you two? You look like you've seen a ghost" Freddy asks.

"Not a ghost," Bonnie replies, "BUT A HUNK!"

"Wha-"

"He's not joking Freddy!" Chica hops in, "The new security guard, he's... He's... AMAZING!"

"So, wait," Freddy says, "In the 4 HOURS we've had so far, NEITHER of you two have killed the night guard?"

Bonnie speaks up, "Well, to be honest, one hour here is like...3 minutes, so..." Freddy smacks the rabbit with the baseball bat again.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Freddy yells at the two, "Instead of KILLING this guy, you got your gears all tightened up for him? This is why you two haven't got the chance to kill anyone mate, 'cause you both are just buckets of bolts!"

"But, Freddy...If you saw him-" Chica gets interrupted.

"I don't care if he's a hunk or a piece of junk, HE'S SUPPOSE TO BE DEAD! And look, we've already wasted an hour talking to each other like a couple of idiots!" Freddy points to the clock on the wall, which is at 5 AM (The minute hand, however, is moving faster than it normally should.)

"Maybe I could be of assistance?" The three turn around to face the voice, but no one is there. The animatronics look around, confused. "Uhm...Yo...DOWN HERE!" The three look down to see Chica's pink cupcake on the floor.

"...Cupcake?" Chica says.

"Congratulations, you know what a cupcake is," The little Cupcake says sarcastically, "Now, Freddy, let ME kill him!"

Freddy thinks about it, "Uhmm...How is a cupcake suppose to kill a human?"

"What? You don't think I can do it?" Cupcake asks.

"I know you can't-"

"YOU DON'T KNOW BEAR, I WOULD HAVE ALREADY CUT A MAN IF I HAD HANDS!" Cupcake yells. Suddenly, the power goes out.

"...Did the moron already use up all his power? Seriously?" Freddy gets off the stage, "Alright, I'm gonna kill him-"

"NO, YOU CAN'T FRED!" Bonnie jumps off the stage at Freddy, but completely misses and goes right through a table.

"WHAT?! Are you insane?" Freddy yells. Bonnie grabs one of Freddy's legs.

"No. I'M IN LOVE!" Bonnie holds on as Freddy tries to shake him off.

"Get off of me, you rusty easter bunny!" Freddy limps with one leg towards the hallway to the office. Just then, sirens can be heard outside the Pizzeria.

"Uhm, guys, the police are here!" Chica panics.

"I got this!" Cupcake jumps down from the stage and hops towards the front door where two police officers appear. One knocks on the door, which cracks open. "Hello police! How are you doing on this fie night?" Cupcake says in a low voice hiding behind the door.

One of the police officers get closer, "Yeah, so we got a call about loose animals in the restaurant. Do you mind if we search the premises?"

"Why yes, I DO mind, you see I'm the one that called earlier, and...And...I thought I saw animals running around, but hey, guess what? It was just my imagination! So we don't need you here, ok? Bye bye" Cupcake slams the door in there face.

A police officer looks at the other, "...'we'?"

Meanwhile in the office, Mike hears footsteps. "NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Mike yells. He grabs the fan as a weapon and scoots his chair back into the corner of the office. The footsteps near closer and closer, and the sounds of dragging can be heard behind it, "Oh no, it has a dead body!" Mike cowards the steps almost arrive. Voices can be heard in the hallway, but he can't make out what they're saying. Mike believes it's some demon whispering or something horrible.

"YOU DON'T KNOW LOVE!" Bonnie yells.

"GET OFF OF ME YOU SON OF A COFFEE MAKER!" Freddy tries to kick him off.

"For once in your possessed life, can you stop being so dumb!" Bonnie screams.

"NOW YOU-" As Freddy talks, the clock strikes 6 AM, and the two stand up motionless. "Beep boop- Boop, beep boop..." The two walk backwards and on to the stage beside Chica. The Cupcake slides across the floor and hops on stage into Chica's plate. The three animatronics start moving like robots, with gears turning there heads side to side.

Over in the office, Mike sees that it is 6 AM. He immediately sprints out the backdoor screaming and floors his car down to his house.

* * *

Back at his small rented house, Mike tries to go to sleep in the daytime hours, but he can't after witnessing the horrors at that restaurant. His cellphone rings, scaring him. He picks it up to see it is his boss, "...Mr. Fazbear-"

"THAT'S MR. FAZBEAR TO YOU-" A grouchy voice yells through the speaker before coughing. You can tell he was holding a cigarette in his hands, "Now, Schmidt. Let me set the scene for ya'. I drive up to MY establishment earlier today when I see a police car parked by the front door. Do you know why the police were there Schmidt?"

"...Because I called them-"

"BECAUSE YOU CALLED THEM!" Mr. Fazbear yells, "Then, get this, they tell me that you told them that there were live animals in MY establishment. Now why is that Schmidt?"

"Sir, that's not what I meant..." Mike hesitates, "...T-The robot things...They're...alive!"

"...How much have you been drinking-"

"No, I'm serious!" Mike jumps up from his bed.

"Schmidt, you can believe in these delusions as much as you want, but do NOT call the police on anything!" The old man yells, "I've worked hard to bring this company back up to where its at since those murders happened 5 years ago in my parking lot!"

"But, sir. You have to trust me on this-"

"You want to be fired, Schmidt?" Mr. Fazbear asks. He coughs some more.

"No! I need this job!" Mike begs.

"Then forget your crackpot dreams and show up midnight, Schmidt!" Mr. Fazbear hangs up in the middle of a hack. Mike plops down on the bed in frustration.

Midnight strikes as Mike pulls into the restaurant. He grabs a frying pan out of his bag and walks inside. Creeping through the backrooms, he gets to the office and throws the chair out the door. Meanwhile, on stage, the animatronics continue there programmed show until they stop motionless.

"...LISTEN TO ME YOU DIM-WITTED SC-" Freddy looks around, confused, "Wait, what? How are we back on stage?"

"While you two were fussing like babies, the clock struck 6. Now it's the next day" Chica explains.

"You have to be joking" Freddy slaps his forehead, "...Well, time to kill-"

"No, wait!" Bonnie hops in front of him, "...I'll do it! I'll murder him!"

Freddy looks at him, "No your not, you wimp! Now stand aside mate-"

"No, seriously Fred!" Bonnie tells him, "I need to overcome this myself. I promise you, just give me a minute." The bear looks at him and nods. Bonnie jumps off the stage and to the hallway.

"...What the heck is up with this teen drama bullcra-" Cupcake gets smacked with a baseball bat by Freddy.

In the office, Mike holds up his frying pan and swiftly turns on the lights by the doors. Bonnie creeps up to the window and looks inside. Mike continues turning off and on the lights. Just then, the lights stopped working.

"W-what?" Mike tries to press the door button, but an odd chicken noise comes from the button. "W-why is it-" Mike gets interrupted

"Ok, listen to me-"

"AHHH!" The security guard turns around and smacks Bonnie across the head with the frying pan.

"Hey! No! Stop!" Bonnie yells as Mike hits him.

"DEMONS BE GONE! DEMONS BE-" Bonnie grabs Mike's face, shutting him up. Mike tries to unlock the grip by whacking the robots hand with the frying pan.

"Stop, ok? Listen, I'm trying to save you-" Bonnie's hand flies up as Mike breaks free. He tries to run out the door but Bonnie trips him, making him fall to the floor.

"AHHH! HELP!" Mike yells as Bonnie picks him up. Back at the dining area, Freddy and Chica look in the hallway, hearing the echoes.

"...Well dang..." Freddy mutters.

Bonnie holds the screaming guard up and throws him into the janitor closet by the hall. He grabs Mike's hat, "Now, be quiet for a sec." Bonnie slams the door shut and runs back to the stage. He throws the hat down on the floor.

"Boom. Done." Bonnie tells them.

"Congrats, you killed the biggest scaredy cat so far" Freddy sarcastically claps his hands, "Now, get back on stage and we can-"

"NO!" Bonnie yells. Chica and Freddy steps back, "Uhm...I mean, no, there is, like, tons of blood back here so...You know, gotta clean this up- LIKE, BLOOD AND INTESTINES EVERYWHERE, it's not pretty-"

"Can I see?" Golden Freddy appears in the shadowy corner.

"No! You sick freak of nature!" Bonnie says, "So, yeah, I'm off to do that..." Bonnie just stands there for a few moments before sprinting down the hallway to the janitor closet. Mike starts screaming again as Bonnie closes the door behind him.

"AHHH! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Mike yells.

"Calm down! Calm down! I need to ask you something!" Bonnie explains.

"...W-what?" Mike studders.

Suddenly, Bonnie puts on a big smirk, "...How ya' doin'?"

"Oh, dear God..."


	3. Chapter 3: Run Schmidt Run

**So, I stop coming on for a while, and I come back, and I still have people reading this silly story! You guys are crazy, I had no idea how much you guys wanted to see this continue! So, I figured, why not? So *claps hands* here goes nothing...**

* * *

Mike tries to take it all in, "So, some guy in a purple jumpsuit killed a bunch of kids, and a creepy Pinocchio.. thing.. shoved the kids down your mouths for giggles and now you can walk and talk?"

"Well, the story is pretty deeper than that, there's, like, 25 other pizzerias involved, but that's basically it" Bonnie explains.

"And this is suppose to make me feel better... how?"

"Because we are opening up to each other," Bonnie smiles, "so now you know a little about me and the corpse inside me, what's your story?"

"... I come here to get minimum wage" Mike answers.

"Hot"

For the past few, very short hours, Bonnie and Mike have been chatting in the janitor closet. Bonnie sees it as a date, while Mike sees it as a kidnapping. Either way, Mike is terrified. Suddenly, he gets an idea to escape the clutches of the huge corpse puppet.

"Hey, you know, I haven't had anything to eat in a while.. Could I have some food please?" Mike asks politely.

"Why, of course my love! I mean- uhh, hold on" Bonnie runs out of the closet embarrassed for saying that. Mike never knew a 7-foot tall robot could blush; how was that programmed? Mike did not think about it for to long as he hears the giant metal footsteps clank fading off. He then grabs a nearby broom and silently opens the door and sneaks out.

Then he starts running and screaming like a complete idiot.

On the other side of the pizzeria, Freddy and Chica are sitting on stage playing UNO with Golden Freddy.

"Psssst..." Golden Freddy gets up close to Freddy.

"Stop breathing on my neck you idiot" Freddy says.

"Psssssssssssssssssssst-" Golden Freddy whispers into his ear.

Freddy sighs, "Yes?"

"DRAW 4 BOY!" Golden Freddy yells into his ear.

"AHHHH" Freddy grabs his bat and whacks Golden Freddy across the face, sending his head across the stage and falling down to the arcade.

"FREDDY!" Chica yells angrily.

"What? He screamed in my ear!" Freddy replies.

In the distance, they hear Golden Freddy saying, " _OooooOOoooh, I scared ya'_ "

"Shut it you headless heffer!" Freddy yells.

Chica looks confused, "..That doesn't make any sense-"

"It totally does, mate!" Suddenly the two hear the scream. It sounds like a dying rooster (it's obviously Mike then).

"What is that?" Chica asks.

"Probably the A.C.. The vents suck now, you can't even crawl through them anymore" Freddy explains, "It will go off in a minute"

Over with Mike, who is running around the pizzeria very scared and confused like, he sees the head of Golden Freddy laying on the side of an arcade machine. Mike 180s it and screams in the opposite direction. "... What was that? I guess we have rats again... Is anybody gonna help me out?" Golden Freddy asks.

Mike finds a few curtains and decides to hide behind them. He runs over to it, tripping on a sign that says 'Out of Order'. The security guard closes the curtains and holds his breath.

"See, it's off now" Freddy says.

Mike stays silent in the darkness unmoving. The only source of light is through the small opening of the curtain. suddenly he starts to feel breathing on his hair. His eyes widen as he realizes he's not alone. Mike begins to shake as he hears animatronic nuts and bolts begin to move. Through the small light Mike has, he can see the shadow of a hand get close to his face. It eases closer and closer towards him as Mike begins to mentally scream. Then, with the smell of rust corroding off the hand of the robot, it strikes forward. Mike flinches, but then realizes it just grabbed his nose.

"Beep beep" It squeezes Mike nose. He screams and jets out of curtains screaming. "Har, har, got him good!"

"Hey, it's back on now" Chica says. Chica and Freddy suddenly see a shadow from the corner of the room. It's Cupcake pushing Golden Freddy's head back on stage.

"Can one of you Chuck E. Cheese dropouts help me!" Cupcake yells. Chica walks over and picks up Golden Freddy's head and places it back on the body that has just been sitting there (It somehow was playing UNO however). "And can we turn the air back on? My pits are super stinky"

".. You don't have any arms" Freddy says.

Chica stops and thinks, "The air is on though"

"No it's not. We turned it off a few days ago 'cause Goldie got cold chills" Cupcake explains.

"It felt like a ghost was going through my spine. It was spooky" Golden Freddy says.

Chica turns to Golden Freddy, "We are ghost"

"Then, if that noise isn't the A.C. then.." Freddy says as the screaming in the distance continues, "BooonnNNNIIEEE!"

Over in the kitchen, Bonnie is trying to make a pizza. "Let's see now, I've watched Chica do it before..." He grabs a piece of dough and lays it on a wooden surface. He then grabs a rolling pin. "Ok, now you use this somehow.." Bonnie begins to smack the dough with the rolling pin, sending it flying all over the table. "Now that's a pizza!" It is just crumbs and small pieces of dough now. "And then we throw it up in the air" Bonnie grabs the wooden pan and tosses the crumbs in the air. They all land on his face. "AHHH, IT'S FIGHTING BACK" Bonnie tries to get the dough off by smashing his head with the pan. Mike runs in and sees this. At first he's startled, then just confused.

"Are you... ok?" Mike asks. Bonnie turns to him.

"Yeah, hold on a sec-" Bonnie suddenly realizes Mike is in the kitchen with him. He grabs the dough off his face forcefully and looks at him, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Mike just stands there, "... Oh, yeah, right-" He immediately bolts for the door. Bonnie chucks the pizza ingredients at him.

"Stop! Now!" Bonnie continues to throw frozen pepperonis and cheese at Mike, which is not stopping him, but just kind of annoying him.

"Can you not do that?" Mike ask as Bonnie jumps on top of him, crushing him.

Bonnie looks down at Mike squirming below him. The rabbit begins to blush, "H-Hi~"

"AHHHHHH" Mike is being crushed.

"Shush, we don't want them to-" Suddenly, Freddy's voice can be heard from the hallway. Bonnie gets up and hides Schmidt behind him.

"Where's the the guard?!" Freddy asks very violently. Chica, Cupcake, and Golden Freddy- who is just flopping on the ground- appear at the door.

"W-what do you mean? I killed him!" Bonnie says very guilty-like. Mike wonders if he is dead- if he was it would make a lot more sense.

"Bull! We heard very girly screaming and there was no blood in the office! We know he's still alive"

"Well, I did a pretty good job cleaning up, huh?" Bonnie says.

"Go search the place you three, now!" Freddy commands.

Chica steps up, "But Freddy wait-"

"WHAT?"

"He's hot-"

"I DON'T CARE!" Freddy screams.


End file.
